Until I woke up in the hospital with both my hands in bandages, I never questioned my imperfection. Before that day I was a happy, innocent child. Yes, I had noticed that my hands were different from those of other children and the adults around me, but I thought nothing of it. Everyone had something different about them. So what? My hands seemed normal to me. The bubble of innocence around me burst that day in the hospital. That was the day it first occurred to me that others felt the need to fix me. Was there something “wrong” with me?
At a tender age an “attitude“ took command of my personality. To prove my value, I became defiant. I’ll show you what I can do with my hands! I built hundreds of model cars, planes and ships. When I couldn’t hold small pieces of plastic to glue them together, I raided my mom’s sewing basket and found a pair of tweezers. I taped them in the web between my half-thumb and deformed index finger on my left hand. With this homemade prosthetic, I triumphed, now able to hold the smallest pieces. But “attitude” demanded further proof of my normalcy. I played football, basketball and baseball at positions challenging for my hands. I succeeded. I chose architecture as my profession. It required me to draft, draw freehand and make models. I took great delight in proving others wrong about me. “Attitude” required diligent perseverance in the face of all odds.
In my forties, I found myself in crisis. “Attitude” no longer worked to accomplish my goals. I had to find a new way. When I’m faced with serious challenges I go to the mirror, where I pose questions to the eyes staring back at me. I trust that my Soul has the answers I seek. My Soul explained: Your hands are a daily reminder to show compassion for the myriad ways in which The One expresses and explores the multiplicity of Its perfection in human form. As individual aspects of The One, all people are perfect as they are. Once you understand this, there is no more need for “attitude.” Now prove your perfection only to yourself.
Changing my mind about myself has been an ongoing process. I’ve had to alter my judgmental beliefs about myself and the world. I’ve also had to change my inner dialogue about our physical differences. I’m learning that everyone is perfect in the eyes of the Soul.
Parents! Please consider the gifts that your children are as they were born, before you decide they need to be changed. What do their special conditions contribute to your family constellation and your perceptions of wholeness and perfection? Doctors! Please, before you operate on a child with birth “defects,” consider that you may be attempting to fix something that is already perfect in the heart of The One.
It seems to me that dogs express dog-ness perfectly as they scratch and fart and bark at the moon. Even when they do something we don’t like, like track mud into the house, they are still expressing dog-ness perfectly.
So, if God was clever enough to make dogs perfect, gee, maybe we are made perfect too? Even while I scratch and fart?
Thanks, Al, for good food for thought and deeper reflection.
Ken
acmjr1949 posted: “Until I woke up in the hospital with both my hands in bandages, I never questioned my imperfection. Before that day I was a happy, innocent child. Yes, I had noticed that my hands were different from those of other children and the adults around me, but “
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Great post, Al. Thanks!
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Enjoyed this, Al! And regarding the post above about dogs, I agree. I have always thought animals are perfect and know it intuitively. One of my cat’s had his growth stunted by a calcium deficiency early on. So he looks a bit different from many cats. But you can tell he knows he is WONDERFUL.
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