Walking through a beautiful botanical garden on a sunny spring day recently, I spotted a man and woman, both silver haired, walking the path ahead of me. Their arms were wound around each other’s waists like teens in love. Love has no age limits, I thought. They turned around. I said, “You two give me hope!” My heart opened. I took a moment among spring’s blooms to drink from the well of love within me. It is still deep, I found.
Two sons: talented young men now, for whom my love is absolute!
Creativity: I love expressing through architecture, art, writing, speaking, dreaming about humanity’s return to union. Losing all sense of myself, time, space or other when I’m immersed in these activities, I’m learning to emulate the all-loving Creator.
Companionship: the ways she views the world in contrast to my male point of view. My personal Jupiter, I love that she challenges me to expand. Inclusiveness feels so good!
Men: since we’ve aged out of competitiveness over sports, jobs, money and women, we can enjoy each other’s company again, like when we were young boys, eager to share our stories and our longings, loving life.
Women: having women friends who can set me straight, that’s another love of mine.
Heaven and Earth: I love profound moments, intersections of communion. They feel like golden light running through my veins. Creator: thank you for making so much for me to love!
It’s impossible for me to prioritize my loves in a linear list. But in a circle I have infinite room for more. They are all parts of me. I could no more do without any of my loves than I could do without breath.
Sages say our loves in the world are reflections of our self- love. If I love so much and so many, does that mean I have an abundance of self-love? I’d like to believe that’s true, but sometimes when I reach down deep into my well of love, I find it bone dry. In those moments I recall something a very wise teacher once said to me: when you find yourself feeling sad, remember that you have equal capacity to feel joy. I think I’m finally getting what she really meant. In this dualistic world, the trick is to gracefully surf the ebbs and flows between opposites. Accepting the shifts between opposites can be challenging, especially for an idealist with strong desires and high expectations for his life. Where did I pick up this expectation that I can live constantly high on love? And yet, there are times when my well of love is overflowing.
On my morning walk today, the sun shone brightly in a cloudless sky, the deepest blue. Trees rustled in a gentle breeze. I saw an eagle soaring. I thought of my sons, my creativity, my friends. What a blessing to love so much and so many! Then I remembered: where I place my focus in the moment makes all the difference.