As a willful young man I was critical of myself and others. Expecting perfection from myself, I punished myself for my shortcomings. My attitude toward others was, if you can’t do the job right, then get out of my way. I’ll do it myself. I powered through my life with willfulness. If I couldn’t get the square peg into the round hole, I got a bigger hammer and pounded that square sucker into the round hole. Willfulness exhausted me and made me resentful and judgmental. My heart was closed. My responsibilities weighed heavily on my mind and heart. I felt alone and disconnected leaving a void in my psyche for depression to fill.
I had witnessed my father’s descent into depression’s hell. He accepted the standard treatment of medication and I witnessed his life force and passions wither. I knew that I needed help but I also wanted to sustain my passion. I chose people and processes over the artificial life induced by pills. During this time I developed a support network of soulful friends and healing practitioners. I understood from practicing architecture that the best results come from the best process. I established a whole self process involving the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of myself.
Yoga and movement to music stimulated my body at a cellular level, releasing remnants of childhood traumas and opening me to self-love. Massage, chiropractic and energy work helped me rejuvenate and restructure my body. I began to eat healthfully. I drank a gallon of water a day. Keeping my body well hydrated allowed higher frequencies of consciousness to run through me. I learned how to stay grounded so these frequencies could run through me without damaging my nervous system. Counseling and reading expanded my thinking. I was introduced to systems thinking where I came to understand that my problems were given to me so I would seek their solutions. I learned that problems arise from feeling separate and solutions emerge out of feeling connected. I also learned that solutions already exist. I shifted from mind-centered to heart-centered. As I learned to sustain myself in these new ways, my intuitive guidance became available and my spirit soared. It’s my internal source of happiness. My spirit is now my constant companion. This relationship has helped me shift my thoughts and feelings from separateness to realizing that I am connected to all things.
I began to understand that my willfulness involved forcing my desires to manifest when I doubt myself and the universe to provide. In contrast, willingness is allowing my desire to manifest because I trust my spirit, my vital life force energy, and universal law to provide. Realizing my desires is a matter of tuning the vibrations emanating from my thoughts and feelings into synchronicity with my desires. I’m learning to make my own luck and attract really cool things into my life.
I’m not special. Anyone with a pulse and a thimbleful of fortitude can change their life. Everyone has a part to play in remembering our interconnectedness. When I connect to and express from my Essence, willingness infuses my creative projects and relationships with cooperation, ease and joy. I call these New Earth experiences. I can assure you that New Earth is real and within our grasp. As one of millions who are walking this path, I offer myself and my experiences in service to others. The dream of WE is within each of us.