I once craved the exhilarating highs I got from escaping into my creative projects. One time, I was completely absorbed in an architectural design project for thirty-two hours. When I finally rose from the chair, my legs buckled. I had to hold onto the desk until I regained the strength to walk. I was addicted to creating. I believed the purpose of my life was to sustain these highs. When projects were completed, I felt empty and real downers followed. Swings between highs and lows tormented me. Eventually I burned out. I slid into a deep dark void. Drained and depressed, I had little energy for basic functioning, much less for friends, family or the fix of creativity I craved. During one trip to the void, my inner voice informed me that I feared taking the middle road of moderation. I judged it, thinking it meant I had to accept a pulseless life, flatlined on mediocrity.
A sudden flash of insight urged me back to nature, to seek her counsel and wisdom. I recalled that she carries the natural rhythmic cycles of birth, life, death and rebirth. So I hiked to my favorite spot for contemplation, a small clearing in the forest along the banks of a stream. Desperate for creative rebirth, I begged Mother Nature to refresh my memory of her ways. Sitting by that flowing stream, I felt her natural Order dissolving my judgments. I became more receptive. The stream revealed to me the creative power of its fluidity. I realized I had been out of sync with nature’s principles. That left me vulnerable to ego’s assertion that the high I sought required external gratification such as approval from others for my creative works.
I returned to nature regularly for more insights. Eventually, I remembered that, like nature, I have an inner core, an unshakable foundation of light within me. One time while enraptured by the cloudless blue sky against the evergreen mountains and terra-cotta cliffs of New Mexico, I experienced the profound presence of my own core. In that moment I became the meeting place of heaven and earth. My body tingled. My mind expanded and my heart opened. Tears of joy! Rebirth! Balance.
Now, balance fills my cells with self-acceptance and love. It’s as if the forces of heaven and earth have reached equilibrium. The powers inherent in each have united. I’m enthusiastic about projects I undertake and complete them to my personal standards of excellence. I even look forward to downtimes after my immersions into creativity. When I’m in balance, my life is fluid and easy. Balance releases me from my need for approval from others. My body feels more flexible, my emotions more stable and my mind is more open to intuitive insights. My blood pressure normalizes. And I even have plenty of energy to explore quality experiences with others.
May we meet on a hike by a stream one day, touch the core of our being and in balance share grateful hearts!
3 thoughts on “Balance”
Albert…This so speaks to me! I am smiling:) as I contemplate the roller coaster rides I would create for myself. Today I sit and chuckle as I have just woken up from a 2am movement of energy taking care of things that are needing my presence as I move towards a four day event, and a one day worldwide simultaneous river blessing. This time I can feel the surge, and though I could even claim this time its for our Sacred Waters, yet I am remembering to hold my balance, stay connected to the earth, breathe and am now heading out for a much needed healing touch with nature…thank you for the reminder to stay close to her and keep my heart open to receive her gifts…Shelley
I believe that once we finish something satisfying or something we had been looking forward to we feel this emptiness this sense of being out of balance. It has riddled me for years. It has also given me great gratification. I never know which to expect and I need to change that, your latest post is very inspirational in my quest to do so!
Dennis and I used your blog for this beautiful sunny morning contemplation time. Thank you for helping us to remember the gratitude and the knowing of the core light in all, that exists. As we go through the challenges of living with a his 23 year old son, we remember his core also needs nurturing and reminding. I have been on a creative binge for the last months since I came home from Mexico, making jewelry. After going to a sale yesterday where hardly anyone showed, I had to remember the joy I’ve had, in the creating. Thanks for your inspirational and beautifully written words and anecdotes.
In Love and Light