It’s New Year’s Day, January 1, 2018. I find myself restless with anticipation. I sense that my life is about to change, but how? My intuition isn’t giving me any clues about what lies ahead so there’s some fear. Hmm, …sounds like more lessons in patience. However, the fear is tempered by sporadic pangs of excitement, knowing that destiny is calling me like it has in the past.
Twenty-six years ago to the day, I left those I love dearly to chase a dream, a dream that later showed itself to be an illusion. Am I chasing another illusion now? Or, are there new and exciting people and inner and outer adventures ahead that I could never have anticipated? I am acutely aware of the similarities between today and that time long ago. It’s evident by these similarities that I’ve reached another level on the evolutionary spiral. It makes me wonder if there’s an unseen hand guiding my life toward a destiny. One thing I do know: this time I have more inner strength and courage to face the unknown than I did at that time. The stakes feel higher now. The more evolved I become, the less leeway I have to stray from the straight-and-narrow centerline of my personal integrity.
In the intervening years since I left, I committed fully to the adage “Know Thyself,” the inner journey, a series on initiations undertaken to break down ego’s dominance over my thoughts, feelings, and actions. That has not been easy, so many of my imperfections have been exposed. People have seen me naked, crying, begging the heavens for help. Nonetheless, it’s been rewarding well beyond anything I could have imagined. This new year brings me to a state of wabi-sabi, the Japanese practice of embracing my imperfections. After all I’ve endured, I can relate to those art-objects that have been shattered into pieces then, repaired using Kintsugi where gold or silver hold together and highlight the broken remnants of its previous form. The object becomes more valuable because its journey through wear and tear, repair and reuse is honored. The rivers of gold and silver used to repair the art-object are symbolic of the acceptance of change and fate as aspects of the life of the object.
Similar to those repaired art-objects, the re-assembled pieces of my life are held together now by rivers of golden wisdom. I’ve seen that ego is the source of the illusion that I am separate from anyone, anything, or Creator. I admit I bought into these illusions hook, line, and sinker. Through the turbulence of many trials where I seemed to lay broken, I’ve emerged stronger, more flexible, and aligned with the Truth, the unity of all things. I’ve seen that I am (we are) an extension(s) of the light of eternal beings, Souls. Through our Soul’s many journeys into form, we are all climbing the evolutionary spiral ladder, albeit at different rates. I’m more prepared to begin creating a new life today. Recently, I read something important, “Only I can deny myself something.”
I’m happy to be back blogging again on BlueSpaceCreations after taking a year and a half to complete writing and editing of my book, Eyes In The Mirror, Everything Changed When He Met His Soul. My self-publishing company, iUniverse estimates it will be available in paperback, hardcover, and digital formats through Amazon, Barnes & Nobel, and local bookstores by Mid-March 2018. If you enjoy my blog, I’m sure you’ll enjoy reading my book. I hope it opens many hearts to remember our original way of being human, from which, New Earth emerges.